台灣十年教學有感

On my ten-year span of teaching in Taiwan

作者林天德 Tender Lin, Ph.D.

一九八九年夏參加國建會之後〈圖一，前二排左二〉，我決定放棄在南卡的工作，實際回國參與台灣的建設。我之所以決定那樣做，一方面是台灣已是台灣人李登輝執政，另一方面是我不必擔憂家庭生活，牽手可全權擔當。在那時，我給我自己期許的任務是，積極推展自我肯定訓練，從人際關係中建立台灣人民自信心。再簡單說一點，我是回來「收驚」，我這期許都公開對學生與聽眾說過。

第一年我在台南師院執教，第二年轉戰台北，改在北市立師院。兩年過後，只在暑假期間，回台在市立師院與國立政大執教中小學教師的進修班，為時達八個暑期。在這十年間，除了在校上課外，我也到處演講（圖二），雖然說不上走透透但也講透透台灣全國，連澎湖、馬祖、與台東等偏遠地區我都演講過。同時我也出版「贏在你我之間」、「台灣人，別再隨緣認命」、「變態心理學」、「你我都贏才是贏」、與「聊療心」等書。

如今回想起我十年來的台灣教學，第一個印像是台灣人民對我溫順有禮有情，學生如此，社會聽眾也如此。上課或演講前，都會替我準備茶水或擦刷黑板，下課或演講後，接送或共用餐點。曾有一班，一聽到我小時喜歡吃芋頭冰，在下節課前就給我一個大驚喜（big surprise）。另有一班為了抓住共桌共餐機會，將班分組，一週一組跟我共餐 (圖三)；甚至不少學生都主動搶先效勞，由家帶來我愛吃的綠豆湯和土產甜點，這些溫馨直到現在仍然甜在心頭。除此之外，班班都有它的謝師餐會或郊遊，我常被邀請參加 (圖四)；第二個印像是台灣學生還是有點被動，通常不會主動對我所講有所評論或發言。雖然還是有幾個人會這樣做，但全班就議題參與討論的機會就較少了。第三個印象是台灣人民謹守本份，大多不會要求過份。雖然學生倦於常在教室上課，偶會對我要求課外教學，但在演講中，從來沒人對我提出或商量講題，都要由我自定。

至於教學成果，我自認百分之百成功，這可不是自吹，因我可親身感受到受教者自信增強，行為大有改變，而上課時也都精神飽滿。受教者和聽眾會當面讚賞我，對我說「相見恨晚」，或說「我從沒那麼想過或感受過你剛才所講的」，我私下也接到不少對我的愛慕語與告白。從第一年南師的「贏家班」起（圖五），我一直在鼓吹我的「建立自我形象」理論–五爽溝通線「按：在台灣時我說4S+1E，最近把E改說另一個S (爽)」。剛開始時，有些人質疑「直線溝通」這一個爽，可能在台灣不適用，但幾年過後，我就不再聽到類似評論了。受教者認為我這五爽理論很實際，不像他人說法那樣是天馬行空。我用幾個簡單幾何概念道盡人際溝通的精髓。我相信，受教者能「呷好到相報」，回校後再傳授給他們的學生與家人，那我對台灣收驚就盡點心力了。

除了教學與演講之外，我自己自求上進，邊教學邊做研究。研究的項目包括人際關係與婚姻，並把一些研究發表在「教育研究」和「教育資料與研究」等刊物上。在台灣時，我真想在命理與民間信仰上做些研究，因為我發覺好多人在這方面有所迷失，恨不得自己能有些研究資訊可提供給他們。有一次，因與學生在「牽亡」上和我有所爭議，身邊又沒資訊可做依據，就只好跟他們親身到土城一所廟宇，對我已故家父「牽亡」，用來破除他們的迷信。

我另外的一個感受是台灣學術界自私又好利，人事制度短視。幾經周旋，我還是無法找個專任教職，也沒機會自創一片天空，也未能在民間信仰上做些研究，是我在台教學十年的遺憾。回美後，看到二○○四年的立委選戰，投票率才百分之五九，且有案在身與買票候選人均當選，讓我這海外台美人洩氣。每當在電視上看「台灣起動」與「台灣心聲」節目時，我自認要是我人還在台灣，我就來個「台灣收驚」，因台灣人仍處在「重大打擊後壓力症（Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder — PTSD）」和「認賊作父」– 即專業上叫斯得哥爾摩症候群 (Stockholm Syndromes)」的夢懨中。

我在台灣教學，演講、寫書、納稅，和當兵。如今在美退休，都沒拿台灣一分錢的退休金，自忖已報答了台灣養育之恩，問心無愧，因在台的十年教學，該也足足有餘了吧！

In summer, 1989, I attended a national construction forum in Taiwan (Pic 1, 2nd left 2^nd low). Thereafter, I quitted my position at South Carolina Department of Mental Health, and returned back to my home country. There are two reasons behind my decision: one is that government is now running by Taiwanese president; and the other is my wife capable of running my family. At that time, my mission was to carry out assertive/interpersonal skills training and to promote self-confidence in Taiwanese people. In Taiwanese folk saying, I was coming back “to eradicate fear” from people’s mind. This mission was openly expressed to my students and public audiences alike.

The first year, I taught at Tainan Teachers College, and second year, I taught at Taipei Municipal Teachers College. Then I returned to United States, and only went to Taiwan on summer to teach at in-service teaching training classes. I taught both at Taipei Municipal Teachers College and Chengchi University for eight consecutive summers. So in whole ten-year span, in addition to teaching, I also spoke at various schools and institutions (Pic 2). The area I have been to covered full Taiwan and the outlying island such as Penghu and Matsu. Meantime, I published five books, namely, “Live to Win”, “Folks, Leave Yuan and Fate alone”, “Abnormal Psychology”, “Winning for Both of Us”, and “Healing of Mind”.

As I reflect on my ten years teaching in Taiwan, there are three outstanding images popped up in my mind: (1) Taiwanese people are friendly and polite, both students and public audiences alike. Prior to my entering to the podium, they would clean the black board and prepare the drink in advance. Right after my lecture or speech, they would escort me to the office or invited me for a chi-chat snack. Now I still have a sweet memory about a class. This class once learned that I liked a special childhood sweetie – taro ice cream, they immediately run to get it for me prior to our second session. There is another class of some 40 students. They all like to have lunch with me because they like to listen to my talks. To satisfy every body’s needs, they subdivided into five groups. Each group took turn to have lunch with me (Pic 3). There still even more sweet hearted treatments I got. Several girl students brought their homemade special sweets to the class to share with me. On top of all these, each class had its graduation dinner or graduation tour, and I was always invited (Pic 4). (2) Taiwanese people are passive and reserved both students and public audiences alike. They rarely asked questions or made comments. I found it hard to have a group discussion on a topic. (3) Taiwanese people usually do what they are supposed to do. Students showed some courage to ask me changing class routine, but I never received request to discuss a speech topic from the general public. When they invited me, it always led up to me to decide the speech topic.

As to my teaching, I claim I got 100% success rate. I do not have a big mouth, as I did actually see my students’ self-confidence greatly increased, their behaviors dramatically changed, and their spirits highly elevated. They openly complimented my teaching such as saying “I hate I just know you now” or “I never thought or felt like that before”. Some of them even privately showed love and affection to me.

Right from my first year at Tainan Teachers College, I established so-called “Winner Class” (Pic 5). I laid out my theory of self-image building, namely, “5-S Line of Communication”. At first, people questioned the feasibility of “Straight Line of Communication”, but surprisingly just only few years gone by, their doubts disappeared. My students felt “5-S Line of Communication” is very practical, as I used simple line drawing to explain line of communication. I am sure that my students will spread this good news, as they returned back to school teaching. They would introduce my “5-S Line of Communication” to their students. Then, I would achieve my original goal of teaching in Taiwan, i.e., “to eradicate fear” from people’s mind.

In addition to teaching and speech, I also conducted research in Taiwan. The major focus of my research is interpersonal relationship and marriage. Several of my studies got published at Journal of Educational Research and Journal of Educational Resource and Study. There is one thing I still feel regretful now. It is I did not get to do research on folk belief, because I frequently found myself at add with it. For example, I disagreed with my students on “calling back diseased” on one occasion. I could not back up my argument with research evidence. I ended up going to a temple with my students. I paid for a service to call my father back to talk to me. I did feel my father coming back then, and I hope I did crush my students’ beliefs.

Taiwanese academic world is selfish and profit-oriented. Its personnel system is closed and would only employ its own group of people. It is regretful that I was not able to hold a permanent position, to create my own world, and to conduct research in folk belief. In 2004 legislator election, I was disappointed to see voter turnout rate of 59%, and some got elected by buying votes. Whenever I saw the TV programs of “Taiwan Move” and “Taiwan Voice”, I wished to go back to have a program of “Taiwan, No Fear”. I still feel Taiwanese people are in a state of PTSD and Stockholm Syndromes.

Throughout my life in Taiwan, I have been a teacher, speaker, writer, tax payer, and soldier. Right now, I retired in United States, and I got no retirement fund or pension from Taiwan at all. To payback our mother-land nourishment of my life, I think my ten years of teaching there should be more than enough.