《養育兒女的喜樂》 – 女兒婚禮賀詞

作者:柯金寅 (Kin Ko)

二零零九年壹月中旬，在天高氣爽的墨西哥避寒勝地主持愛女婉娟 (Alice) 醫師與蔡伯堯醫師 (Dr. Gregory Tsai) 婚禮後，我已婚的兒子Victor趨前向我道賀〈爸爸，恭囍您兒女都已完婚，大功告成！〉，在藍天綠水的海邊，我很快樂地接受了愛子的賀語，因為我養育兒女的任務終於宣告完成！

以下是我在女兒婚禮囍宴上演講的英文賀詞漢文譯本

諸位親愛的親友暨貴賓：

謝謝大家從遠地長途飛行專程蒞臨中美洲墨西哥避寒勝地，參加愛女柯婉娟醫師與蔡伯堯醫師的婚禮以及分享我與夫人人生中非常快樂的一天，就是慶祝我女兒與女婿的婚禮。

首先我要感謝伯堯父母蔡啟東醫師夫婦教養出一位傑出的年青人，做為我的女婿。同樣地，我要謝謝我的夫人- 學韞- 培育出兩位有愛心的兒女：婉娟(Alice) 與維維(Victor)。

去年八月二十日，接到未來女婿伯堯打來的電話，問我隔天是否有空想要跟我一起吃午飯，我好奇地問一下 “我太太是否也在邀請之列 ?”他說最好是只有您我兩位。婉娟與伯堯已交往多年，這個電話讓我擔心，會不會出了什麼事情，憂慮之心，讓我徹夜未眠。翌日，伯堯開車到辨公室來接我到附近一家餐館，入座後，我開口問他最近如何，他臉上展出了愉快的笑容，他說此行的目的是為了向我女兒婉娟求婚之前徵求我的同意。我高興地幾乎從椅子上跳起來，連說幾聲〈Yes同意〉、〈Yes同意〉。接著他細述與婉娟相愛甚深，享有共同興趣、目標及基督信仰，他進一步感性地告訴我，婉娟影響及改變了他許多生活方式與習慣，聽了後，讓我深為感動。伯堯是一位誠實可靠，聰明和謙恭有禮的年輕人，他也俱有高度的幽默感：有一天，我們一起開車路經《Kinko 複印連鎖商店》，他馬上幽默地說: (我很榮幸地娶到了KinKo 的財富)，因為我的英文名字恰好是〈Kin Ko〉。

現在讓我在回憶的長廊上略述愛女婉娟在生長過程中給我很多的喜悅。記得她出生後，我從醫院把她抱了回來，把她放到小床後，就在床底放了個慢速錄音機，希望能錄出她的說話的第一聲，每天把錄音帶重捲後再放回原位，直到有一天，錄到她的第一聲 (Mama媽媽) 我有點失望，因為我期望她第一聲是〈Papa爸爸〉，不過我還是雀躍不已，終於聽到她講話的聲音。

當時我在Bronx 住處門口的紐約大學工學院研究所攻讀學位，每天我從學校回來，就抱起她在屋裡團團轉，其樂無窮，常常一起上秤，有一段時間，重量並無顯著增加，擔心女兒無何成長，所幸醫生解釋說很可能她重一磅我廋了一磅，所以秤上數字無何改變，我才放了心。

記得她高中畢業時，取得了很多著名大學的入學許可證信，我高興之餘，把所有許可證複印幾份，貼滿了我在紐約世貿中心八十六樓辨公室的牆壁上，每天讀好幾遍。我進而複印一份，隨身帶到長途商務旅行的飛機上閱讀，常常喜極而眼出淚水。有一次一位空中小姐，關心地問〈柯先生，有什麼事我們可以幫忙嗎？〉我回答說我沒有事，只是想到養兒育女的喜樂，不禁掉下了眼淚。

婉娟(Alice)從西北大學醫學院學醫到約翰霍伯金斯(Johns Hopkins)醫院當四年的實習及住院醫師，她都勤奮向學及接受專業訓練，奠定了良好的基礎，加上她的努力，在她的醫師領域及人生的旅途上，都有相當的成就，懸壺濟世，樂而不倦。她和弟弟維維(Victor) 都是虔誠的基督徒，讓我最引以為榮的是她姊弟倆都養成了對人及所接觸生物的愛心，這顆愛人之心曾多次帶著她們倆姊弟到全世界很多貧窮國家，以醫師專業從事義診工作。也由於這顆愛心，她也被選上了美國基督徒醫師及牙醫學會 (CMDA) 美東區理事，是第一位亞裔，擔任此要職。這個職務須要她除了在婦產科診所的職業外，還要兼任負責扶助大紐約地區各醫學院基督徒學生及實習和住院醫師們，順利完成他╱她們的醫學訓練。據說：全美國有百分二十以上的開業醫師，是從大紐約地區各醫學院和醫院培訓出來的，可見這個地區在全國醫學上的重要性。

我也想利用這個機會順便簡單介紹我兒子維維(Victor)快樂小家庭的一些故事：記得他就讀普林斯頓大學時，白天我上班，難得與他會面，不過我夜晚回家，打開電腦，如有聖經詞句顯示在銀幕上，我就曉得他曾經回家過。維維(Victor)是一位內科醫師，六年前他迎娶了一位賢淑的夫人愛琳(Eileen)，大家非常高興地歡迎她加入了我們快樂的柯家家庭。婚後愛琳(Eileen)和維維(Victor) 孕育了兩位可愛的小孩:心怡 (Elisabeth) 與安智 (Andrew)。兩位孫女及孫子活潑可愛，善解人意，含飴弄孫，給我生活上帶來了很多樂趣。我把小孩照片，編印成冊，隨身攜帶，旅行各地，隨時觀賞，甚至帶著他們的照片簿到醫院，親親他們可愛的笑臉，可以減輕我動手術後的痛楚。

我經常提醒兒女：父母之愛與夫妻之愛，有所不同，不能相提並論。夫妻之愛，是雙行之道，需要相互體諒及互助，才能永浴愛河。父母對子女之愛，像條單行道，很少希望子女回饋報答。其實我在養育兒女婉娟和維維成長過程中，所得的喜樂已超過我應得的回報。我太太因過度關心，偶而會有掛懷，不過她常說：在我們年老的時候，最大的喜樂應該是能在兒女及孫子女們的需要上有所幫助。我個人雖年齡與日俱增，但總覺得身心狀況，一年比一年好，可能就是拜兒女及孫子女給我的喜樂所賜。今天我們很高興地歡迎伯堯成為柯家的一位新成員，使這個快樂的家庭益形壯大。

在台灣，我們經常給新婚夫妻幾個祝福：（一）白頭偕老；（二）永浴愛河；（三）海枯石爛，此情不移。

此時此刻，做個快樂的父親與岳父，也將上述的祝福獻給這一對新婚兒女，至誠地祝福他倆婚姻快樂美滿，愛情與日俱增，直到海枯石爛，愛情也永不退色。

謹此將上述感言獻給我的愛女婉娟暨愛婿伯堯

願上帝保佑暨祝福各位來賓及這兩位新婚兒女！

謝謝大家

January-17-2009 於中美洲墨西哥

《The Joy of Raising Wonderful Children》

Speech Delivered at Daughter’s Wedding Reception

By a Happy Father, Kin Ko 柯金寅

January 17, 2009

Zama Beach, Isla Mujeres, México

Dear Invited Guests、Friends and Relatives

This afternoon in this beautiful beach resort after my daughter Alice & Greg’s wedding ceremony, my son Victor came to me and said： “Daddy: Congratulations, your children are all married and your mission is accomplished !” I accept my son’s congratulation and “Yes” my mission is accomplished!

Welcome and thanks to all of you today for coming to share one of the happiest moments of my life：the joy of celebrating the marriage of my daughter Dr Alice Ko to Dr. Gregory Tsai.

First of all I would like to thank Greg’s parents, Dr. and Mrs. Thomas Tsai for raising such an outstanding young man to be my son-in-law；equally, I would also like to thank my wife Emile for bringing up two wonderful children of our own– Alice and Victor.

On Wednesday August 20th of last year, I received a phone call from my future son-in-law Greg, asking me if I would be free for lunch the next day, I asked him if my wife was also invited but he said “it is better just you and me ” 。 Alice and Greg have been dating for more than a year, I was very concerned about this phone call, something may have happened between the two of them and worry kept me awake all night 。 Next morning he picked me up at my office and we went to a restaurant nearby。 After we sat down, I asked Greg how everything was, he was smiling and told me the purpose of his trip here was to ask my permission to propose to my daughter Alice, I was so thrilled to hear such a good news and almost jumped out of my chair, I said “Yes” to him many times 。He started talking about how he and Alice share the common interests、faith in God and the significant impact Alice had on his life。 Greg is a sincere, honest, intelligent and humble young man, he also has a sense of humor。 One day we passed by a “Kinko Copier Center” he said “I am very fortunate to marry into the KinKo business empire”, My name “Kin Ko” happens to be identical to a business franchise name of the Copier Center.

Now let me turn the attention to Alice, every time I travel through memory lane I find nothing but joy with Alice and Victor – the joy of raising them up. It is hard for me to give Alice away in her wedding。 I remember the day I brought her home from the hospital after her birth, I put a tape recorder in slow speed underneath her crib trying to record her first word。 Every day I rewound the tape and put it back again。 Finally, Alice’s first word came out “Mama” instead of “Papa” I had wished for, I was a little disappointed but was very happy to hear her first talking voice。

Everyday when I come home from my graduate study at New York University in The Bronx, I would immediately hold her up and happily running around the rooms。 Holding her in my arms we would step on the scale a couple of times a week。Weeks passed by and I saw no noticeable upward change in her weight, I expressed my concern to the doctor and to the relief of my worried mind, he assured me that Alice was growing, it was possible that she gain one pound and I might lose one. The gain and loss made the scale stay at the same level。

Alice, when you were admitted to so many excellent universities in your high school senior year, I was so happy and decorated my office on the 86th floor of World Trade Center in New York City with all of your college admission letters。 On my business trips overseas, I would read all of those letters repeatedly on the plane with tears in my eyes; one of the flight attendants was so concerned and asked me “Mr. Ko is anything I can help you with?” I told her I am fine, just so much joy when I am thinking of the wonderful children God has given to me。

Due to our financial situation, Alice went through some hardships in her early childhood。 I remember when she started to play piano we could not afford to purchase a new piano。 Searching through the newspaper advertisements I found an used one at a reasonable price。One weekend my wife, Alice and I took the subway to Brooklyn to see the piano。 When I rang the doorbell, I noticed the name on the door “Richko Residence” ， I thought I may have a rich uncle with same last name “Ko” in town。 After we were greeted into the house, the owner started to introduce himself “I am John Richko”, and I responded “I am Kin Poorko” 。 Richko was firm on his price, so Poorko did not get that piano。 I regretted playing such a joke in front of Alice which might have disturbed her。

Alice, from Northwestern Medical School to Johns Hopkins Medical residency, you have received the best education and training this country could offer 。Furthermore you have achieved a great deal in your life by working hard for it。 Daddy is very proud that both you and Victor are also devoted Christians and most importantly both of you have developed a loving and caring heart for everyone you touch。 The good hearts have carried both of you on medical missions to care for the sick and poor around the world。 I remember during Victor’s school years at Princeton University; every time I came home from work and turned on the computer, when I saw the Bible verses on the monitor screen I knew Victor was home。

Six years ago, Victor was married to a wonderful young lady Eileen and we welcomed her to our happy family。 Together they are raising two lovely children and I enjoy very much playing and spending time with them。 I carry their pictures anywhere I travel and kiss them every night before go to bed；one time I even carried the pictures to the hospital to reduce the pain and discomfort after surgery by watching and kissing their smiling and lovely faces。 Today we welcome Greg as a new member of our happy family which is growing larger and happier.

Alice, Daddy always told you that parents’ love is almost like a one way street, we do not expect any returns。 As a matter of fact we have already received many returns from you and Victor through the joy we had with you during your growing years。 Mom always says that the most enjoyable thing to do in our old age is to help our children and grandchildren。 I feel better and healthier every year even with the progress of my age because of the joy I receive from both my children and grandchildren. Mom and Daddy love you very much as we always have, please do not hesitate to ask for our help when the need arises。

In Taiwan, where I was born and grew up, we frequently gave newlyweds three blessings： (1) Stay together even in the old age and hairs turns gray ( 白頭偕老) (2) Forever swim in the love river (永浴愛河), (3) Even solid rock rots and ocean dries , the loves never fade away (海枯石爛,此情不移).

Alice and Greg, I wish both of you have a happy married life together and I pray for that with Lord’s Grace , the loves you feel for each other will grow stronger every day, and even if the ocean were to dry up your loves to each other shall never diminish。

God bless both of you and God bless every one here in this banquet hall. Thank you all !!